Monday, April 23, 2007


Do you understand grief?

No, me neither.

But I do now realize that no number of cigarettes smoked, no amount of wine or liquor consumed over convivial times at the bar, no multitudes of men, no amount of cock will fill that hole, cross that divide, deliver me.

Miss you, dad.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

What a Fucking Week

It's been awhile since my last post, and even longer since my last juicy one, so to speak. I've been busy, blahblahblah.
I know you want to hear about the goods, so in a nutshell (and for myself as a memory cue, as I have lots of posts brewing about in my twisted little head, but no time to write them yet), here's the sum-up of my week:

Wednesday I went out with an incredibly hot motorcycle "club" member. Dinner, casino, my house. First time on the back of a bike in too long. This man gets a gold star for his pussy-eating skills. Demerits, however, for poor planning. No condoms, so no sex. Safe sex is important! Also, delayed demerits for leaving marks. Tacky! To thank him for the multiple orgasms as a result of his skillful use of tongue, lips, and fingers, I blew him like I was a porn star.

Thursday I fucked my ex-husband, who texted me with a to-the-point "sex please!"
He comes armed with a new script for Viagra and wants to practice using condoms. Gold star for longevity; I'm kind of pissed that he can keep it going for much longer now than he ever could while we were married. Ah well. Better living through chemistry. Demerits for poor condom choice. He broke out of the Magnum about halfway through the deed. Thank goodness I've been using those lately and could tell that we were no longer having safe sex. Safe sex is important! Next time he'll have to buy the double-extra-large size, and then fend off the shopgirls as they proposition him on his way out the door.

Friday I went to dinner with Jose who I haven't seen since his mother came to stay with him a few weeks ago, and who is planning on staying until June (!?). We played some vigorous tonsil hockey, then I had him drop me off at the motel I was staying in for the weekend with my friend (the one who had invited me and my friends to go to Vegas to hang out with him and his friends last month) and his friends. I felt kind of funny about staying out late with him, and sex wasn't happening, so there wasn't much reason to stay out too late.

Drinking games were well underway by the time I returned, and I happily joined in, playing Quarters for the first time since college. Drunken hijinks were next on the agenda, and in a surreal twist that should have been foreseen, I ended up having sex with the friend I love too much to fuck. Which is why I'm calling it "having sex" now. We did that twice. Gold star for pussy-eating and another for being prepared with condoms (apparently _somebody_ thought he might be seeing some action). Safe sex is important! Demerits for being either too drunk or too stoned to come. Poor bastard. Another gold star, though, for gamely attempting to play with me some more, saying "there's no reason why you shouldn't still have fun." I think he was really excited (and surprised) when I told him that I had already had fun. Several times, in fact.

The moral to this story, kids, is: Don't smoke pot! It will make you forget that you already showed him/her a good time and you'll feel compelled to start over even though everybody is already really tired!

This morning (Sunday), we got all hot and bothered and I was excited to try some sober sex to see if we couldn't get that boy off. Demerits for running out of condoms. Gold star for telling me that little fact before I was so turned on I'd fuck the Sonicare.

Junior has been calling a lot recently, so I finally picked him up tonight. I haven't seen him (except once out at a bar by chance) in over a month. He fucked me like a rock star. Two times, just the way I like it - hard and fast. I think I'm going to have some physical support for my decision I made earlier to impose a man moratorium for awhile. He pounded my pussy so hard, I think there's a good chance there will be bruising. Gold star for quick rebound. Demerits for being unprepared for safe sex. Safe sex is important!

Now, he's sleeping in the bedroom, and I'm out here, drinking a glass of wine, listening to the sound of the rain, and telling all of this to you.