Tuesday, January 16, 2007

*sigh*

Lately I'm tired, uninspired.
I'm stuck in this unhealthy limbo.
We had the "Talk."
There has been no walk.

I'd like to get on with it; he is not motivated to leave.
So, we are both just sitting here, looking at each other on borrowed time, damaged goods.
I'm meeting other people, looking forward to some time with someone I haven't damaged (yet).
I think, today, I think I don't want to whore.
I just really wanted an honest clean go at life with tabula rasa (as much as a tabula can be rasa-ed at this point).
That being said, however, I still am considering allowing the restauranteur to retain me. It would be nice to have that small piece of security. I guess that would still be whoring, but only with the one.
As long as there were no efforts to keep me off the market, I think that might do.
I wish I had paid better attention in Economics class.
What I know is that I have a bit more than half the income I used to, and almost all the same bills.
I'm younger and in better shape to capitalize off of my looks now, while they still exist.
I'm conflicted. Hence, the *sigh.*

Dear readers, I know we don't talk much, but I wonder what you think?
Help a half-baked idealist out, eh?

2 Comments:

Blogger bella said...

Wandered over from AAG's place, though it isn't my first visit. I wish I had words of wisdom to offer you here.

Good luck.

bella

12:25 PM  
Blogger desert diamond said...

Thanks, bella! I appreciate it.

I look forward to checkin' out your blog. :-)

10:36 PM  

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